Enjoying This Gift I Have Been Given

I love Champion’s smile, how he squeals in delight over the littlest things, how he kicks his legs in excitement when he sees me pick up his backpack with his feeding pump in it, knowing he’s next.

He is so appropriate with his smile, always ready to give one to anyone willing to receive it.

I sometimes see him smiling at people while we’re out, and he keeps smiling at them even as they look past him.

He doesn’t get discouraged by rejection though, the next person he sees he’s ready to offer them his joy filled smile, seemingly unaware that not everyone is loving life the way he is.

I hear this from so many parents of children with special needs, that their children truly enjoy the little things in life, have an unexplainable joy, and are inspiring in the way they approach life.

It is amazing to me that so many children born with extreme challenges  are the ones who teach us so much about loving and living.

In the beginning, after we found out about Champion’s diagnosis, I would ask God “Why?” a lot from a place of heartbreak and anger.

I cried a lot. I slammed doors and lashed out at family and friends.

It was a really tough time.

But in the midst of this journey, somewhere deep in my soul a shift happened.

I am so grateful to be Champion’s mom now, even with all the challenges and time commitment the role requires of me.

Being around him day in and day out, observing his reactions to situations, to people, to us, and to the challenges he faces has made my life so much more meaningful.

Sometimes, my eyes will fill with tears and I find myself asking God “Why?” but it is from a totally different place than at the beginning of this journey.

I now ask from a place of gratitude and amazement.

I am so in awe that God has allowed me to be this little boy’s mommy.

To witness this fiercely determined little miracle in the making take place before my eyes.

To be on the receiving end of these overwhelmingly joyous smiles.

To be given the gift of nurturing this uniquely special soul.

And to be a part of a a community of amazing mommys and daddys being totally transformed by their children who need a little bit extra.

I finally find myself at a place where I can exhale, and say that I am finding myself more and more content versus heartbroken and angry. This is so much better than the inner destructive turmoil I found myself in for the first several years.

Even though there are still many challenges we face, I feel like I can breathe again and I feel like I am truly enjoying this gift of a son I have been given.

Let’s Talk!  What unexpected Gifts are you enjoying?  Please share in the comments, I’d love to hear about them.  

Linked at: Pour Your Heart Out