Life Archives - Page 10 of 13 - The Sweet and The Salty

Spring, A Re-Kindled Love, and Facebook

By Jody June 3, 2013

Spring is normally my favorite time of the year.

I love the clear skies, the wispy clouds, the beginning of warm nights and waking up to the smell of freshly cut grass, one of my favorite scents.

I love going from wearing pants to capris and skirts, from wearing sneakers to sandals and flip-flops.

I love the anticipation in the air of new beginnings as school years come to a close, graduations mark the beginning of new paths in life, and times of rest and rejuvenation are around the corner.

Spring is a beautiful season.

This spring though is not one that goes down in my book as one of my favorites.

It began with a miscarriage, crescendoed with Champion being denied his feeding therapy, and is tapering off with Champion recovering from a minor surgery and working on sleep issues.

I’m still in pants because I haven’t shaved my legs, still in sneakers as my toenails need some tending too, and haven’t been outside much to enjoy the warm nights or the freshly cut grass smell.

But...in the midst of those challenges this spring did re-introduce me to a long-lost love of mine.

And it feels like I’ve rediscovered a lost part of my soul as this love of mine has been re-kindled.

Special Needs Blogging

And that love, my friends, is a love for reading.

And not just reading but READING, like get lost in a book, characters become my friends, don’t know what to do with myself when the book ends READING.

And it has seriously helped me to relax more. To sleep better. To have a true break for my heart and my mind without even leaving the house.

I have fallen completely, deeply, profoundly back in love with reading and the power that stories and well-developed characters have. And I am not letting it go this time.

How do I find time to read? Good question.

I used to think that I didn’t have the time, so I just didn’t do it.

But then I realized that I was spending time doing something every single day that was not rejuvenating me, seemed to be draining me more, and was not giving me the break my heart and mind needed.

So during the month of May I took a break from this thing that has become unhealthy for me, and in return I read seven books.

I almost hesitate to admit what it is that I swapped out reading for, because A) I’m embarrassed to admit I spent seven books worth of time doing this and B) I know some people are not negatively affected by this activity but for some reason I really am.

The way I found time to read was by reading the times that I would normally go on Facebook.

Yep that’s right, I was spending seven books worth of time looking at what other people were doing, trying to come up with something about my day to share, and then eagerly waiting for interaction.

By not spending my time doing the above and instead filling that time with reading, I feel so much more refreshed, less anxious about life, and just healthier in general.

So as spring comes to a close and summer is approaching, I am looking forward to continuing on this trend of reading more and Facebooking way less (like hardly at all).

And I am looking forward to sharing with you some of my favorites books I have recently found! (And hearing suggestions from you on some books to check out.)

Let’s Talk: Do you enjoy reading? If so what are some of your favorite types of books to read? What barriers have you had to overcome to make time for reading? As far as social media, how do you use it (or not use it) in a way that is healthy for you?

Photo Credit: Promanex, Douglas R Witt, YLev

Linked at: Pour Your Heart Out, Fellowship Fridays, Love That Max

Blogging vs Journaling

By Jody May 20, 2013

I LOVE writing. It has probably been the single most therapeutic thing I do. Excercise is up there also (when I actually do it) but it doesn’t hold a candle to the clean feeling I have after writing.

It’s hard to describe, this feeling I have when the words have run out and the pressure to get them out is relieved.

I feel light, free, and purposeful. And it happens every time.

Every time I sit down to write I feel better after.

Blogging vs

I do two kinds of writing. I write publicly here on this blog and I also write privately in a very private journal that I hope no one ever reads.

Both have totally different purposes, but I have found both are very necessary for me.

However, since I have been blogging, I’ve slacked off on my journaling.

I’m glad in a way that happened as it has helped me to see how important and how absolutely necessary journaling is for me.

When I write for blogging, I write for the purpose of sharing what I have written.

I write with an audience in mind. I write knowing that someone will hopefully read it and that it will hopefully resonate with them and touch their life in some way.

I write publicly for the purpose of connection with other people and the benefits that come from those connections.

I have been blessed tremendously by the connections I have made through blog writing.

There is nothing like putting my thoughts, feelings, and experiences down in written form and having another life touched by it or have another reach out and provide me with comfort and encouragement based on what I have written and shared.

I truly enjoy blog writing!

But there is a part of me that NEEDS private writing and the freedom it brings.

There are thoughts, feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams that I am either to ashamed to share with others, to bashful to admit I have, or they are to close to my heart to let them go very far.

Private writing for me consists of opening my journal, writing the date and the time followed by Dear Heavenly Father.

I then proceed to take God at His Word when He says to cast all my cares on Him.

Whatever comes to my mind, whatever needs to get out, gets out, no matter how ugly, shameful, or petty it is.

It took me a LONG time till I could write honestly this way.

But this type of writing, this get it all out, hold nothing back writing has brought me peace of mind like nothing else. There have been times when I have been plagued by a thought or a fear so overwhelming I felt like it was crushing me, only to have it all but disappear when I’ve spent some time journaling HONESTLY about it.

Private writing is a serious tool for me to have healthy emotions and a healthy sense of well-being. Private writing is so therapeutic. It is freeing, it is faith building, it is an absolute must for me.

I think the excitement and thrill of blog writing made me forget for a little while my need for private writing.

But after a while the feelings and emotions have once again begun to well up and seek a place to be spilled in a messy, unstructured, ultra safe place.

I know that I must heed them and allow them to have their place to dwell and be sorted out.

If I don’t I know they will find their way out, somehow, someway, and dealing with them then won’t be nearly as therapeutic and they will definitely require a lot more clean up than simply closing my journal and putting my pen down.

I am glad that I took a little break from private writing. It has helped me to really see the value in it and also helped me to see that while I truly enjoy public writing, I MUST make time to do my private writing also.

Both are important to me in this season of life. Both are necessary in their own way. Both have really helped me in this journey I’m on with Champion. Both contribute to my life in a healthy way and, with the time I do have available for writing, I now know that I NEED to strike a healthy balance between the two.

Let’s Talk! Are you writer? Do you journal? What benefits have you experienced from writing? If not, what are some other activities you find therapeutic?

Linked at: Fellowship Friday

Today, I Cried Hard. And it Felt SO Good.

By Jody May 1, 2013

When I got the call today that the continuation of Champion’s feeding therapy had been denied, I cried really hard. I cried while the messenger told me the news, I cried while I left messages for his therapists, doctor, and insurance. I cried in my car driving home, and I cried while my husband was leaving for work.

I just cried, and it felt really really good to do.

Learning about the denial for Champion’s feeding therapy (which we are appealing) was what started me on my crying spree, but it wasn’t really the root.

I was crying for what feeding therapy means to our family and what the lack of it means as well.

Champion is fed by a tube going into his stomach, called a g-tube. He got it when he was 4 mos old, after his open heart surgery.

Right now he gets 12 g tube feeds a day, every single day. He is on a blenderized diet that we blend for him every single day, rain or shine.

As soon as he wakes up he’s attached to the tube and throughout the day he receives the 12 feeds, some water feeds and some food feeds to make up the 12. He’s pretty much attached to the tube the whole entire day.

In between 7:30pm and 8:30pm he falls asleep in my arms on the couch, where I sit with him, holding him upright until he finishes the last of his feeds around midnight, and then once I’ve held him upright for about 45 minutes after the feed is done, him and I lay down in what has become our bed and go to sleep.

I am up with him several times through the night, as he wakes up in discomfort from acid reflux. Husband is in what has become his bed in what has become his room.

This is our routine day in and day out and has been for over three years. Which also means it has been over three years since I have slept in the same bed with my husband.

I cried so hard today when the feeding therapy was denied.

Champion has always been in some type of feeding therapy through our state therapy program. It wasn’t till three months ago when he started this particular feeding therapy, in an acute hospital setting with a specialized feeding therapy program that is well-known for their success at getting kids off their gtubes, that we began to see real progress and had therapists working with Champion who truly believed with us that he could become an oral eater.

Seeing him make progress, be able to swallow and enjoy food, and have therapists who truly believed in his feeding ability made the therapy a dream for me, something I looked forward to taking him to twice a week.

And it gave me hope that I would get a full night’s sleep again, that I would sleep in the bed with my husband again, and that Champion would not spend all his days and half way into the night attached to a tube.

But now, for now, in a mess of insurance confusion and bureaucracy that therapy is gone. And just for a while today with it went my hopes for what life would be like without the tube, for us and for Champion.

It felt so good today to allow myself to just cry and not care who knew I was breaking down.

It felt good to taste the salty bitter tears I had been keeping inside, thinking keeping them there was somehow preserving me and making me stronger as I fight for the best for my Champion.

It felt good to have my crying heard by people who love and care about Champion and want to help him. It felt good to hear them say, “We hear your cries and we’re going to do what we can to help get this fixed.”

Crying didn’t get appeals written or services back in place. Crying won’t change the fact that tonight I’m still holding Champion upright late into the night, or that my husband and I haven’t slept in the same bed in literally years, or that as soon as morning comes Champion will be reattached to his tube.

Crying won’t change the fact that it will take a lot of work, time, and energy that I don’t have to get the services started again.

But crying did accomplish something today. And that is that it simply made me feel good.