Parenting Archives - Page 2 of 4 - The Sweet and The Salty

My Daughter Started Crawling and How I Felt About It

By Jody February 6, 2015

I was standing in the kitchen prepping my son’s g tube feed when I heard the rhythmic sound of determined little hands slapping the floor, steadily making progress towards their desired destination.

I held my breath as the slapping stopped and a decision needed to be made. At a crossroads she sat, either go straight to discover the fun at the end of the hallway or veer to the right and find mommy.

My daughter just started crawling.

This was her third day at it and the first time she had ventured beyond the comfort and safety of the family room. I was thrilled to look down and see that while sitting at that crossroads she chose the path that led to me. I kneeled down to snap her picture and sat on the floor clapping with her and letting her know how glad I was to see her.

It was a bittersweet moment. These past few days since this new found skill of hers has taken off have been filled with bittersweet moments.

This was the first time one of my children have been able to come to me on their own.

My son is quite the snuggler and loves to be held and kissed but even when I know he wants to be close to me I am the one who goes to him. The fact that my daughter intentionally sought me out and made her way to me was a moment I treasured.

But it in the midst of enjoying that moment with her, there was the stark realization of what I have missed in these moments that I have longed to have with my son.

When my daughter started crawling I was not prepared for how emotional it would be seeing her be able to move from one point to another all on her own. It was a mixture of joy and sadness, joy for my daughter and her newfound freedom to enjoy and explore the world around her and renewed sadness that my son is still waiting for that freedom.

I spoke with several other moms whose family makeup mirrors my own and found I am not alone in having such a wide range of emotions as milestones are met by one child while prayers are still waiting to be answered for the other child.

As times goes on and we adjust to our “new normal” of having a child who is mobile, I am sure these bittersweet feelings will not continue to hit me so hard.

In the meantime I am seeking to make the most of these firsts with my daughter and savor them as I continue to treasure and enjoy the beautiful moments that I have had and will have with my son as well.

I am finding these moments with both of them will look very different, but I want to make sure I treasure them all just the same.

Let’s Talk: Anyone else feel or have felt the same way when their first has challenges that the second one doesn’t? Whether you have a child with special needs or not do you remember how you felt when your child first found you on their own? What are some of your favorite memories with your little ones?

Why and How I’m Making Exercise a Priority: Part 2 & A Giveaway

By Jody August 21, 2013

This post contains my affiliate link. I only recommend things I really like and I like what I’m recommending today so much I’m also giving away five of them. Just leave a comment at the end of this post to be entered in the giveaway! (Read Disclosure Policy here.)

This is the “How” part. Read the “Why” part here.

I know exercise is good for me.

I know it helps with energy, mood, sleep, weight, general overall health, pretty much all the areas I could use some help in.

I know this, but actually putting what I know into practice–yeah that wasn’t happening for more than a few days out of the month, if that.

Until, I came across this book: “Do What You Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better.

Within the first chapter Holly Gerth, the author of the “Do What You Can” Plan , asks the reader to choose a goal to work towards. I chose exercise. She then encourages the reader to take that goal, think of the minimum amount that you want to do and then cut that in half.

“What?” I thought to myself. “I want to do 15 minutes as my minimum, half is 7.5 minutes which is like nothing. How is that going to even be beneficial?”

But the more I thought about it the more sense it made. I really want exercise to be a life long habit and not something I start and can’t (or won’t) keep up with.

So I decided to give it a try to do ten minutes most days. I can find ten minutes a day.

We have a treadmill in our bedroom (we bought the floor model from our local Sears and got an amazing deal on in it) so I really have no excuse. So now I put on some work-out clothes, stretch a bit and get to walking.

I don’t worry about a shower after, that will add to much time and I’m not working up that much of a sweat in my ten minutes. (However if I did go longer and got really sweaty I simply use a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol on it under my armpits, it does a wonderful job getting rid of sweat smell, then change clothes and I’m good to go).

Making it as simple and un-time consuming as possible has been key for me.

I plan to increase the time frame in the coming months to where I’m really getting the full benefits from it, but for now I’m making it a priority without making it impossible for me to do.

Surf Shelf, special needs parenting, exercise — *(SurfShelf on Treadmill. A great way to turn a treadmill into a “walking desk”. Walk while you read, type, or watch a program)*

Four simple ways to get started with exercise:

1. Pick three of your favorite upbeat songs. Play them and dance along! This is a great, fun, mood-lifting way to get exercise in. Kids can participate too (or you can do it in the privacy of your bedroom and really go all out!)

2. Take a walk outside. (I was very inspired by this comment from Brigid to do this more often). It doesn’t have to be super long, just enough to get that heart rate going as you’re starting out.

3. Walk in place for ten minutes. This can be done anywhere, while cooking, doing dishes, watching TV etc. This is a good way to get the blood flowing and your heart rate up without having to do too much preparation.

4. If you’re at a strip mall (like grocery store etc) park far away from the store and before you go in the store walk up and down the strip for about ten minutes. Then do your shopping.

Additional Tips:

Whatever you choose to do, make it fun. If it’s not fun and you dread it, you most likely won’t keep up with it. Make it fun and keep it short at first.

Start slow. Don’t try to jump into a five days a week, hardcore thirty minute program. Work your way up to it. Start small and make it a habit. As you see the benefits and you’re keeping up with it on a regular basis then start increasing the time as you can manage.

Slowly work it into your schedule. As you exercise your energy will increase and your sleep will get better, which will make managing all you have to do easier. As you see the benefits and you have more energy, start increasing the time and rearrange your routine as necessary to make room for it.

Giveaway Has Ended!

And finally, I really recommend “Do What You Can” Plan: 21 Days to Making Any Area of Your Life Better by Holly Gerth. It was a quick but very impactful read for me and really helped me to get jump started in the exercise arena. I plan on re-reading it in the future to help me establish some habits in other areas and reach some other goals of mine.

Does The “Do What You Can” Plan sound like something you’d want to read? ~~If the answers yes, just leave a comment on this post and you’ll be entered for a chance to win ONE OF FIVE copies ~~I’m giving away.~~~~ (I always think it’s super fun to win a little something so be sure to enter and be blessed by this serious gem of a book :-)!)

Giveaway ends Tuesday August 27th at 11:59 PM, Pacific Time. I’ll update this post by Thursday August 29th with the winners. The book will be in kindle e-book form. (If you don’t have an eReader you can download the kindle reading app for your phone, tablet, or computer from Amazon.) I will also email the winners and if I don’t hear back in 24 hours another winner will be chosen.

If you’re reading this by email or in a feed reader click here to come to the site and enter for your chance to win!

Debra Lee, Brigid and Wani, I hope you enjoy the book! You should have received an email with a link to download it! Enjoy :-)!

This book is definitely one of my favorites, I hope you enjoy it too!

*A doctor should be consulted prior to beginning any exercise regimen.

Why and How I’m Making Exercise a Priority: Part 1

By Jody August 14, 2013

“We are going to have you change your diet and exercise but in the meantime you need to take one aspirin every day. You are at a high risk for a stroke or a heart attack.”

I was shocked when I got that report from my doctor. An aspirin regimen? High risk for a stroke or heart attack? Wow… I had no idea my health was in that type of shape.

Yes, I could stand to lose a few pounds, especially around the middle area, but I had never gone above an average size in clothing. I was very athletic as a teenager and hadn’t been to terribly inactive in my adult years. Yeah my diet could have been improved but it wasn’t too bad. I didn’t think I had let my health go to much…but according to this test I had.

But then I realized that I wasn’t factoring in the fact that I am a mom to a child with special needs. And the added stress and tax on my body parenting a special needs child brings.

I firmly believe that it was the numerous sleepless nights, the stress of trying to get my child to gain weight, him constantly throwing up, the numerous appointments, the pressure to do “therapy” with Champion every waking moment, the phone calls, and the list could go on and on that put my health in the shape it was in.

Those things and the fact that in the thick of it all I wasn’t paying my health the attention it needs.

As a mom to a child with special needs, we know that our health is important. We know it, but in the midst of the health needs of our children, our own health is so often overlooked. And understandably so.

The amount of care our children can require of us can push us past physical, mental, and emotional limits.

Finding time to take care of ourselves is challenging in and of itself, but then having the energy to do something about it in the time we do find, even more challenging.

But as moms of children with special needs we have got to make our own health a priority.

Because our children really need us to be healthy for them. They need us to live a long life and be there to take care of them. They need us to have energy to spend on their needs. They need us to be able to meet their needs. And unless we are healthy ourselves we can’t do or be all that they need us to be.

So much easier said then done though.

Even after I got the report from my doctor, actually taking care of myself still was not one of my priorities. I knew it needed to be and on paper it was a priority, but in reality in our day-to-day lives it just wasn’t happening.

When I did have a few minutes to myself expending additional energy exercising was not the way I wanted to spend it.

Cooking a healthy home cooked meal, not something I was going to try to do when I was absolutely exhausted from a sleepless night, running around to therapy and doctors appointments, and struggling with g tube feeds. No way, take out it was again and again and again.

Recently though it clicked, and I realized that making sure that I take time to take care of myself is a form of taking care of Champion. And that has motivated me.

So lately I have been making sure that exercise is more than just a priority on paper and that it is actually something I am following through with doing on a regular basis. And I am seeing benefits from it. And so is my family. And it’s making a big difference in how I feel.

I’d love for you to come back next week for Part 2 where I am going to share in more details how I am actually making exercise happen and some strategies to get started and keep it up.

But before I go today, I just want to encourage every mom of a child with special needs (and any moms period) who are reading this..Please please, if you are not doing so already, do what you need to do to care of your own health.

You are so valuable to your family. You deserve to have energy and to feel good physically.

Life is so much better, even with the day-to-day challenges I know you face, when you just plain feel better. This is new for me, making sure I am healthy, but I am seeing so many benefits. And I desperately want other moms like me to experience these benefits also.

I look forward to seeing you next time and us getting healthy together!

Let’s Talk: What barriers do you find keep you from exercising? If you do exercise regularly what has been your motivation to get started and keep up with it?